The Dark Knight Musical
by MesoMorph
Summary: Inspired by The Nolan Trilogy, Comes a Disney-Musical set in Gotham to the sound of your favorite classical Disney songs.
1. The Dark Knight

**Here comes the Dark Knight (** to the music of Aladdin's "Arabian Nights")

Oh I come from a place, without law without grace  
Where the criminals feast on fear  
where injustice can last, from a horrible past  
When Schumacher has made it queer

Where the cops are corrupt, no one dares interrupt  
The grim cycle of weak and might  
Come and glide on the wings, Of the man who begins  
To become a courageous knight!

We call the dark knight  
At the end of the day  
To show them who's boss  
At any darn cost  
Without a cliche

Welcome the Dark knight  
And his awesome display  
When Bale is badass...  
And Liam got class...  
More than Michael Bay!

* * *

NOTE:

I've made enough songs to cover the majority of the Batman Nolanverse. All I need is to find the perfect order to put them in


	2. Bruce Is Back

**Alfred & Servants \ ****Bruce is Back** (to the music of Aladdin's "Prince Ali")

 **Servants:** Make way, the prince is near!  
 **Crowd:** Make way, Bruce Wayne is here!

 **Alfred:** Hey! Clear the way  
In the Gotham street  
Don't pout, just get out...  
go and Kiss his Feet  
Come see, who is he,  
always dressed in Expensive Clothes...

 **Alfred:** Gasp, yell and moan,  
Snap your camera-phone  
for the bloke everybody knows!

 **Alfred:** Master Wayne! he's here again!  
Billionaire playboy!  
Let him pass, don't kiss his arse  
show some restraint  
His word can start up a mob  
He'll buy you out of your job  
he brought loads of cash, now he's gonna to make it rain!

 **Alfred:** It's Bruce Wayne, handsome and vain  
Billionaire show-off  
He's got looks, down to his boots  
...Bought them in Spain.  
He's back from traveling the world  
His shares are already sold  
And he's getting awfully bored! (Goddam Bruce Wayne)

 **Crowd:** He learned Indian home-décor lessons  
 **Bruce:** _(Alfred, how about a library in a cave?)_  
 **Crowd:** And he danced with some monks in Tibet  
 **Bruce:** _(...they called it; the fung-kiu)_  
 **Alfred:** And there's nothing he keeps as a secret  
He's boring as hell, don't ask: he won't tell  
He poses no danger or threat!

 **Alfred:** Oh, Bruce Wayne! girls go insane! just being near you  
 **Ladies:** (There's no question he's handsome fella... he's the hottest Gotham-city-dweller)  
 **Alfred:** Signs his checks, flexing his pecks, No girl can abstain  
 **Ladies:** (But it is a bit suspicious he's not taken!)

 **Alfred:** He's quite a charmer indeed...  
 **Ladies:** (The butler tells us he's a loner) **  
 **Alfred:**** He'll wreck you like a stampede...  
 **Ladies:** (But the media still gets a boner) **  
 **Alfred:**** And Fill your life with love you can't sustain!  
 **Ladies:** (I think he's superman but I might be mistaken!)

 **Servants:** He met soldiers of fortunes in Chile  
 **Rich Ladies** **:** (a lovely place there, we should go there)  
 **Servants:** And he earned a forensic degree  
 **Rich Guys** **:** (some hobby, man… weird hobby, man...)  
 **Servants:** He had journeyed to find peace and meaning  
 **Bruce:** (now I came to start!)

 **Servants:** …he'll start nothing, dear...noting to Fear  
So let's celebrate with a glass of champagne!  
Once again!...

 **Servants:**...Master... Wayne! Boring, mundane!  
Nothing to see here!  
 **Alfred:** In the pool, tripped like a fool,  
then got a sprain  
And that, good people, is why…  
He shows up with a black-eye!

 **Servants:** He got broken bones…  
and a black armored tank...  
And an arsenal tucked in a safe at the bank...  
With his bombs...his cars…  
his skills and his scars...  
There's no weirdness that this guy cannot...  
explain!  
Just plain…old BRUCE WAYNE!


	3. Fox Like Me

**Lucius fox \ Fox Like me** (to the music of Aladdin's "Friend like me")

Well James-Bond had old man as his Q  
and he still wasn't safe from STD  
But, Mister, you're in luck I'm on your team  
I wanna play the Red to your Dufresne

You want some power, theatricality  
Some heavy toys to make the girls go wild  
You want a suit, a belt, and parachutes  
Well look upon the stuff that I compiled...

For instance:

This suit is tough enough  
To hold a killing spree  
And you can take it home, no questions asked  
You ain't never seen a Fox like me!

If Crime fighting is your quest ...  
The D.M. I can be!  
Come on and tell me what cool shit you want  
You ain't never had a fox like me

Yes sir,  
We can drive just like Miss Daisy  
Or you can pimp your car in style!  
Come on, you Tsar  
Get in the car  
You'd want to stay there for a while!

Wayne-pops has awesome props  
And I just hold the key  
I can't wait until  
You'll get the bill  
You ain't never seen a fox like me

(Nanana) Oh yeah  
(Nanana) Ohh damn!  
(Nanana) Ha-ha...  
Nananana-nana-POW!

To boost you just press this...  
And you can shoot with that...  
The car can jump like this...  
While this massage your back!

This bomb would then go poof!  
Smoke starts to clear…ha-ha!  
When all the guys go "where did he go now?"  
You whisper "here"  
And then you make the suckers dissappeaaaaaaar!

So keep a straight face while I blow you mind  
I know you'll keep on coming back  
Cause it's a candy store, Like none before  
And everything here comes in black

I'm the Wizard-God that helps Bruce out  
And what he does, I don't wanna know  
he's gonna do some awesome shit no doubt  
And that would help our stocks to grow…yeah-ho!

So join the business, cause my help's heredity  
And your daddy knew... I'm more PIMP than you!  
You ain't never seen a fox,  
...Scamming all the stocks,  
You ain't never seen a fox,  
...Gadgets in my box,  
Still you never-  
met a-  
Fox-  
Like….-me!


	4. Kill the Bat

**Joker & Mobsters \ Kill the Bat (to the music of Beauty & the Beast's "Be Our Guest")** **  
(feat. Harley Quinn)**

 **Joker** : Kill… the … Bat  
Kill the bat  
Wipe his blood down on the mat  
Tie a noose around his neck, and make our own le coup d'etat  
First he crawls  
Then he falls  
Then I'll film it for the lulz!  
And the vid would then go viral  
You want reddit? Not my style!

I'm a man of my word  
So come sign our joined accord  
With a pen that's mightier than any sword  
I got a gag to run,  
And make an awesome fun,  
To Kill a bat, Kill your bat…  
Kill the bat!

 **Joker** : Get some men, plant some bombs  
Kidnap victims, slash their gums!  
We'll prepare a lovely scare  
Leave the city cold and bare!  
He's alone, with his rules...  
Working for these witless fools  
No one knows that this fair city  
Needs a villain cool and witty!

 **Joker** : with my jokes and my tricks,  
I can stab with pencil sticks!  
 **Mob Chorus:** And we're desperate enough to hear you OUT!  
 **All** : Come on and raise a show  
So everyone would know  
 **Joker** : I'll kill the bat... I hear that-  
The TV-guy is a Rat!  
 **All** : Kill the bat, kill the bat! Kill The BAAAT!

 **Joker** : Life becomes so boring,  
when a mower isn't mowing  
Such a lovely bloom annoys a guy like me…  
 **Gambol** : …a freak…  
 **Joker** : once, I would have ripped off all the dealers  
And blow shit up with awesomeness and glee

 **Joker** : For years I've just been stealing,  
Without makeing a reak killing  
Needing humor, and an audience to scare  
Most days I would troll around the facebook  
Then the bat came rushing  
And It felt like lighting Flashing!

 **Harley Quinn:**  
Kill the bat, kill the bat!  
Slap him silly like a brat  
Mister Jay wants retribution  
So we'll teach him tit-for-tat!  
With a howl and a scream  
He would fall into a dream  
We will make him crack a smile  
With his stomach turned in vile!

I'll get giddy, I'll get hot!  
Heaven's sake I missed my shot!  
I'll reload before he has a chance to hide!  
but now the lights are off  
and I'm in batman's cuffs!  
oh Mister-Jay, where you at!?  
 **Mob Chorus:** kill the bat!  
 **Harley Quinn:** KILL THE BAT!

 **Mob Chorus:  
** Kill the bat, kill the bat  
Let our business get some fat  
It's been years since we were free  
Now we have seen where madness' at!  
With Our plans, with Our cash  
We will make the hero crash  
While the limelight is still shining  
On his heart  
We  
Will  
Be  
Dining!

 **All:  
** Blow... By... Blow!  
Eye-for-eye!  
Till he shouts: "JUST LET ME DIE!"  
 **Joker:** Then I'll tear his skin  
and wear it like a hat!  
 _ ***scream***_

 **All:** Our anger would be fed,  
When he will fall down dead  
We'll kill the bat  
kill the bat  
kill the bat…  
Simply kill-the-… BAAAAAAAT!


End file.
